Before I get into a long "back-story", I want to highlight a few things, about me as a guide. Guided work is very intimate, and all about trust. It's important you align yourself with someone who suits your true nature and understanding - so the work proves most efficient for you. If you're caught in second-guessing yourself - start by following your gut.
WHY YOU MAY OR MAY NOT WANT TO WORK WITH ME:
I work DEEP. Some guides start at the surface, and work in thin layers - little by little revealing the true you. I go out of my way to be gentle and supportive, but unless I pick up a need to move slowly - I prefer getting to the meat of the matter as soon as possible, and working from both ends, at the same time. Some surface work, some deep movement, and back and forth. I prefer this method, bcuz I feel it lends the most insight and stability.
I have a LOT of first-hand experience in other worldly workings. This affects how I translate information. Every Intuitive is colored by their experience. My color is NEUTRAL and very MULTI-DIMENSIONAL.
If you're looking for someone to give you New-Age - Love & Light, Fluffy Bunny - Unicorns, Rainbows, Glitter, and TruthTM - There's lots of that service available, but not from me. My work does not cater solely to the Light - I'm more about balance, clarity, and power. Avoiding darkness (or anything you fear), gives it power over you, which is counterproductive to the work you're doing. Nothing can be avoided in this work - some of it can be highly uncomfortable, disruptive, messy, even painful. You need to take that into account before you take my hand and jump in.
I work best for those that are ready and willing to roll up their sleeves, get their hands dirty, and sweat it out. I'm most suited to those that are a point in their life, where they're ready to do any work necessary to shift themselves. And - it is work!!
The LOVE that I offer is RESPECT (what I believe is the purest form). I don't coddle weakness, and I don't condone "less than". I view and treat you as COMPLETE. By addressing you on your highest level, it's easier for you to move into and respond from that space. As you gain more confidence in that space - the Universe opens up to support you better.
It's not important that you read this. It's long (even in its shortest form), and it's pretty hard for most people to believe - unless they've been through something similar. I've spent so much time on it - trying to make sense of it all - that for me it's old and tired. Nothing more than a back-story. But - if you're looking for credentials - this is all I've got - first-hand experience, and a lot of it.
I came into this world, fully supported by Spirit and Source. Nothing scared me, I was extremely outgoing, full of potential and substantial energy, and ready to work on the world - everything and everyone I came in contact with. I was born with extreme creativity and resourcefulness, which allowed me to find a way around any obstacle. Life was really pretty grand, till about 5 years old..then a shift took place, where I was severely cut off from Source support (I believe with reason), and I began experiencing gut-wrenching sorrow. I felt inundated and crushed by concepts of death, illness, pain, suffering, sacrifice, and injustice. Possibly just my Empathy switch turned on? It changed my entire outlook of things. I also began experiencing something dark - circling (at large) around me - all the time.
This darkness finally found a way to attach itself to me. Long story short - it was ancestral in nature - something that follows my family - on my mother's side - Sicilian - witchcraft, demons, curses, etc. I watched it feeding off my mother for a long time, using her for all sorts of terrible things, and then it turned its attention on me. Was actually more a conglomeration of forces - not a single entity. Nothing I knew anything about at the time. It plunged me into a great amount of fear and despair, that lasted several years - then got worse!
At around nine years old, I began being stalked by a semi-physical creature...something like a giant slug demon that would get in bed with me every night and whisper in tongues. Ya! I can not explain the sense of relief I had, when at thirteen, we moved. Also can't explain the sense of disappointment, when - it followed me.......to of all places - a haunted house. For the next several years - I became acquainted with disembodied humans, a group of Watchers, alien visitations, upgrading & abductions, and more demonic attacks. To try to make this even more brief - all these attacks lasted heavily/nightly, till I was about 33. That's a long time to go without any decent sleep!!
Around 15, I began having spontaneous out-of-body experiences, which terrified me bcuz I thought I was dying (leaving my physical body). I worked my through that fear little by little, till I became highly skilled at astral projection, lucid dreaming, and OBEs. Some of it was fun and exciting, but bcuz of whatever ties I had/have to the "darkside" - I was drawn out-of-body into hellish realms, and that was not fun. Around the same time, the demonic and alien attacks were getting worse and worse. More violent, and more sexual in nature - like, getting tossed around my bedroom sort of stuff.
I want to note that all of these things, combined with the more typical traumas (a physically, emotionally & mentally abusive mother (re: her ties to the darkside), and a physically & emotionally unavailable father), divorce of my parents, abandonment, yada, yada - was seriously rocking my world!!! School was NOWHERE on my list of priorities - from day one of kindergarten till they kicked me out in grade 10. I loathed the bullshit system of school on all levels. I found myself on my own at 16. Went through LOTS of jobs, bcuz I never got the sleep I needed. Couldn't be 'on time' for anything. Had pretty much no social life either. Things that were going bump in the night, were most happy with me being separated from any form of support or guidance, etc. They made sure I spent most of my time alone. God forbid I wound up with a boyfriend - I'd be inundated by attacks till I was physically ill. The moment I broke up the person - I'd feel immediately better, and things would return to my-normal.
Of course - by 20-ish, I was severely depressed and suicidal. Killing myself was something I thought about - all day, everyday from about 12 to 30. The ONLY thing that stopped me from doing a good job of that, was knowing for a fact that there were some major, top-echelon players - waiting for me on the otherside! So I was stuck having to deal with and overcome what was going with me. No escape, except upwards, onwards, and through.
The Devil was a key visitor in those days. I had to work my way up the ranks of course - but - I impressed him. Honestly, after dealing with hordes of low-level minions - the Devil is a welcomed escape....a gentleman and all that - but you know - can't be trusted at all. Working my up through the ranks is something I have a lot of experience with. When you're stuck in that sort of situation, there isn't much else to do. Except soul retrieval.
bcuz I could navigate so well, was developed enough in my skills, had a SUPER strong set of intentions, and HYPER-cautiousness - and had gained access to deeper and deeper dark realms - I started rescue work. Okay, not many people who have these out-of-body skills, want to work in these levels, but - - - - I'll tell ya - - - there are billions and billions and billions of lost souls in there!!!!!! It's insane and very sad. I'm not even sure most people are capable of getting to those levels, when they work with "light", etc. Lots of work going on down there, but not by the type of people you want to associate with. Unless you belong to the Church of Satan or something. I've rescued tens of thousand of souls - probably 70% of them children. I went through a good long while of doing nothing but that. Was not healthy for me, but I couldn't stop. I felt like I was their only hope. I might still be there, wearing myself down to a nub - if things hadn't shifted again.
I exhausted myself so severely - that I couldn't fight anymore. Literally, I was functioning all day as a semi-normal person -working ,etc. then I'd lie down at night, and start the real work - just as conscious, if not more so, then I was during the day. Full-tilt - smash and burn, slice and dice, ripped to pieces and ripped down again...then wake up and do it all over. AND - if you think that I hadn't tried everything under the sun - salt baths, salt circles, candles, essential oils, smudging, dream catchers, pentagrams, sacred protective symbols painted all over the walls - all over my body. Meditating, fasting, sleeping pills, herbs, amulets, talismans, and LOTS of praying. NOTHING worked! So - my intention was forced to shift. I went to bed dead-set on not reacting....and the most incredible thing happened. The attacks stopped!!
Well, the experiences, visitations, and exchanges didn't stop - but the "attacks" ceased by about 80% - to me that was a MIRACLE! From that point on it's been about 50/50 dark and light beings. Now, I just don't get to sit down and dine with the Devil...I get to sleep with Jesus, and beautiful dragons, and fairies come to play, and angelic beings that fly me to wondrous places. I still do a lot of rescue and release work as well. The darkside is mostly dealing with Vampires....but that's another story, for another time.
I joke about how I started out as an astral whore, battled for the position of astral warrior, and finally positioned myself as a cosmic diplomat. I do have a certain amount of clout, ya know!!! Mostly this is due to my empathy and open-mindedness, and respect for all aspects of Source - (and a dislike of dualistic thinking). I don't do good and evil, black and white, wrong and right. My path didn't support those concepts. I survived, I adapted, I learned, I faced, I fought, I forgave, I grew. But - it's still just been a journey - nothing more. We all do those things - in different ways.
I've healed hundreds of demons and monsters -bcuz it's in my nature to be of service . I interact and exchange with the most terrifying creatures and show them love and compassion. And I listen, and I don't judge. I leave all the room I can for more understanding. I've lived in that state of pure terror and fear - closing myself off from everything - LIVED IT - for a long long time. And I know for a fact it doesn't lead anywhere! It doesn't accomplish anything!
One of the most interesting things I've discovered - is that underneath the most terrifying forms - when I set aside fear, and apply unconditional love - is that there's a small, terrified (disembodied) child within that form. There a several horrifying reasons why a child ends up in low-level, hellish realms. To protect themselves, which all children are HIGHLY skilled at - they'll cloak themselves in monstrous form. They use every ounce of energy they can scavenge and muster - to keep this form in place. They're actually more demonic, than the average demon - bcuz they fear that greatly for their life. They have no idea they're disembodied. They believe that the world has become hell, and they've been completely abandoned in it, and constantly hunted. And - we think we have problems!! Anyway - it amazed me the first time I healed one of these insane predator demons, to find a terrified child within. It's a TON of work, in layers - that has to be performed in matter of minutes. Although, it's sort of outside the limits of time, but from end to end - I've only got a 5 or 10 minutes to break them down, genuinely have them TRUST me, enough to let down their guard....then in the most delicate way possible - explain to them they've passed on - call loving ancestors down, and convince them it's safe to follow them.
When I first began doing this level of soul retrieval - the second I went out-of-body - I'd be sucked under (sorta speak), and have hundreds of children standing in a circle around me - just in blackness - lined up, all wanting help. That's where I got caught up in the work, round the clock. Working as fast as I could - I could only help about a dozen at a time - before I wore myself out. It still breaks my heart to think about all who are trapped there. It's just as my own energy rises and develops - it becomes more difficult to get down there. So - once again the work changes - the energy shifts - and I need to adapt.
Something that seems so trivial in comparison to what I've worked with - is this issue I've always had in the back of my mind, where I seem to be of so little use in the "real" world, garner so little understanding and support towards myself, and have always busted my ass in the astral, without any compensation whatsoever. That's more like a lot of things rolled into one big issue. I use to complain a lot about it. That if I was supposed to be doing "this work" all the time, bcuz that seemed to be the only thing going on in my life - ya think, I'd at least be "set up" financially to be able to afford to do that and nothing but that. Perhaps win the lottery, which I suggested often to the higher-ups. Obviously that wasn't the plan. This thought is all over the place, but basically - NOW....
I'm thinking that all that prior work, has prepared me well for taking on work here in the physical realm - helping, healing, empowering, and releasing folks here, and something that I can legitimately charge people for is a perk. I have no idea if people will pay me for readings, but it's a really nice thought - that I'd be able to support myself and my child on healing work. I'd really like that a lot!!! Actually, I can't even imagine what that would be like. It FEELS good though!!!!
We shall see what the future has in store....
If you've waded this far through all that crazy stuff, and you have any questions or comments - ya know I love those!!! Ask away!