arg…..

it”s really a pain in the ass sometimes…that i lay down to go to bed, but never really sleep. tonight i went to bed a little after 1am. i was planning a little (astral) rendeveux with a friend. was raining gently outside, and i was all snuggled up in the huge king size bed…..relaxing into my breathing, honing in on an energy singal, when this thing moved in over me. omminous….dark, and nasty. i could feel filth, and bad intentions. as first it was an ill energy that covered me…no way to avoid it. it was in the room, in my bed. readying itself for something.\r\n\r\noddly it kept pinching me on my back. i could feel it”s bony fingers…grab small bits of skin, and twist. looking for some reaction. i don”t believe it was an astal being. something eartly. old. bcuz as i was trying to shake myself from it”s focus…another large shape jumped into the bed, and caught my attention. this one was glowing blue-white….clear. it was crouching at the corner of the bed, but easily took up half of it. i turned with my astral body to make it out better. it a was huge, white cat with indigo stripes. not a tiger, but the shape of a jaguar. twice my size. it was summoning me…with force. i moved around onto all fours and got close to it to listen to what it was going on about. it was being very quiet.\r\n\r\ni rubbed my face against his to show respect. he rubbed back, and then uttered something that i had to get him to repeat several times till i could understand. basically, that i would die if i didn”t leave the house for 15 minutes.\r\n\r\nnormally i sleep with my clothes on. lazy, bacherlorette habit, but tonight for personal reasons…i”d taken all of them off! of all nights. so my feet hit the floor, i scoop up my clothes and i”m standing in the foyer panicking. not knowing why exactly. i”m still in theta-mode. i”m pulling my pants on, while twisting into my pullover, and calling the pets, and searching for my shoes all at the same time. wondering if i really needed the shoes. how much time i had exactly. for sure i needed my cigarettes! unbelievably i mangaged to get the attention of the animals, who had all been curled up in their own respective bed…sleeping soundly. and…checked the laptop on the way out the door. it was 1:18.\r\n\r\nwas not to bad getting the pes to the door. getting them out it, was another story. i had to literally pick up both the cats, and demand the dog outside. iz cold, and drizzling out. none of them were interested! so, there i was standing out in the street at 1am with the pets, in the cold pouring rain. ๐Ÿ˜• now widely awake, and wondering…. did he mean, “if i don”t leave the house for 15 minutes” as in….don”t leave the house (for 15 minutes)? or “if i don”t LEAVE the house for 15 minutes” as in…..if i don”t? then with the added confusion of wondering if he said that at all?!? what if he said….”if you don”t leave in 15 minutes”? meaning…not to come back at all. now i”m having to laugh at myself, despite still taking the whole thing seriously. there”s a lot of things i probably wouldn”t listen to, but a glowing jaguar in my bed….that message i have to respect fully!!!! the cats are miserable, the dog is whimpering and skipping around my feet as if to say, “fuck lady…come on! what the hell are we doing out here!?!” i didn”t have an answer. no one else was standing outisde their house in the middle of the freezing rain, pacing aorund bcuz there was an evil-force in their house. even if there was! they were asleep. sleeping. totally unconscious. but….lucky me!!! i get to interact with the unknown, so i have the pleasure of acting like a fucking nut-job!!! ah….anyway, luckily was only 15 minutes. i hope!!! i don”t know. now i”m writing this. i have to go back to bed.\r\n\r\nthere”s not much that scares me. i can walk around the woods at night, alone. a big, empty, dark house doesn”t freak me out. back alleys, or demons, or alien abduction. and it”s not that i”m scared right now. really i just want to crawl back in bed and fall asleep for a good nigths rest. just…..that never happens! ๐Ÿ™ i”m assuming i pissed something off. i just don”t know what, or why? and…….if it was just a fifteen minute window it had access to. i”m not going to bother looking it into.\r\n\r\n——————————–\r\n\r\nfhuuuuuck. i”m exhausted this morning!!!

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