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My Detox 2012

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This is something I feel I've been gearing up for forever! I'm exhausted with all the thinking and research I've done up till now. How long my higher-self has been leaning on me to do something, and all the excuses I've used have become unbearable, boring, and pointless. How many times can I say "tomorrow"? And why? Not bcuz I have anything else more important. There's absolutely nothing more important. It's just been pure laziness and procrastination on my part. And, an inability to accept fully loving myself. THIS IS NOT THE MESSAGE I WANT TO BE SENDING OUT INTO THE COSMOS!!! A very wise person would say that...it is not our inabilities that stand in the way of our successes....it's the fear our own powerful state of perfection. That's a heavy thought.

There's no better time then the beginning of a new year to change the course of ones journey. As kids I think we like the idea. We hear our parents proclaiming change for the better, drink in hand, with a big smile, or a hearty laugh. Children learn more about "lip-service", and less about self discipline with these halfhearted "resolutions". I did. As a strong-willed, no-nonsense kid....I found the whole thing stupid and pathetic. Change can happen anytime. From a skewed angle, all I saw was the idea that it was okay to goof off on things till January, then insist for a couple a weeks we know better, then follow it up with endless excuses, guilt, and remorse, till we fall back into bad habits. How bizarre of a ritual is that?? Ironically for me, it is the new year, and going ahead with my plans for change in-spite of the track record...couldn't (actually) be more fitting. It's not the EASIEST times in life that we should decide to change gears....it's change during the most difficult times that proves us stronger! Still, it's all just lip-service till I get down to the actual application of it all!

MY PERSONAL DETOX PROTOCOL FOR 2012

In a nutshell, and starting from various angles....hoping to converge on one simple and healthy program for well-being. I'll write detailed posts on each therapy/protocol, and also (hopefully)...keep journal type posts of my experiences and progress along the way.

  • DRINKING DISTILLED WATER ONLY: Breaks down hardened minerals and calcification in the body, and helps flush the system out.
  • URINE THERAPY: Same as above, but works more quickly, with MANY added benefits.
  • INCREASED ACTIVITY: Not calling it 'exercise', but more activity in general
  • XYLITOL/ERYTHRITOL Protocol: This will be explained in a separate post
  • SUPPLEMENTS: A prenatal vitamin to support breast-feeding, and a few extra things to strength my immune system, and aid in detoxing.
  • PALEO-DIET: Not necessarily stick, but a move away from all processed foods. More raw, and much simpler!
  • QUITTING SMOKING: This one is a big deal. Trying not to look at it as such! Going Cold-Turkey, once and for all!

That's about it. Guess that's enough, since the resolution isn't something simple like, "getting more sleep", or "eating less fastfood". It's a complete and total lifestyle change. Plus, what I've mentioned above it only the tip of the iceberg. There's many other facets involved in (my) detox that are emotional, psychological, spiritual. More mental de-programming, and shit that's built up in the system on other levels. Not just physically. It's the most common reason why people fail at lifestyle changes.
In no way is this going to be easy for me. With the best of intentions....I forget myself on a constant basis, and that's going to be the hardest thing to change. In the midst of all the other stuff that's going on everyday, I forget the simplest things in regard to taking care of myself. I buy vitamins, but them front and center in the kitchen, buy the compartmental dispenser thing to make it easy to keep track of...and there it sits, gathering dust. I buy distilled water, and the only thing I've been using it for is the pets water. It's ridiculous. Every night I go to bed feeling guilty at having forgotten again, about everything. I wake up optimistic, but the minute everyone's up, and things get going....I get side-tracked again. I don't know how I'm going to rectify that?!? Aside from hanging big cards around my neck! 
I'm not really good at a little change here, and a little change there. It has to be something big that involves everything. This is probably not the case for most people. I don't have a lot problems denying myself stuff....actually I'm pretty good at it, except for the cigarettes, which is really my only vice. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't take any medications, and I don't eat that poorly. I'm not a shop-a-holic, a horder, or a whore. No offense to anyone that is. Just listing things off the top of my head, to try and feel optimistic about things to follow. All the things I won't have to give up. :P Maybe they're problems in disguise though?!? Like....I've totally let myself go over the years! I use spend 3 hours every single morning doing my hair and makeup, not including bathing or getting dressed. Just hair and makeup! Even if I wasn't going anywhere, and....for Christs sake, where besides a wedding, the Oscars, or a date with George Clooney....would anyone need that much time to get ready? I literally go weeks now without even bothering to look in the mirror. I haven't bought any new clothes in years.....okay, besides fuzzy pajamas! I could care less now about makeup, hair, and what-not-to-wear. Still, I'm open enough to consider the fact that possibly this isn't the most healthy perspective.
That's where it gets a little confusing with the whole cleansing/detox thing. Like....getting out of the shower, the last you want to do is rub a bunch of crap allover your body, like lotions, deodorant, and perfume. But, there's another aspect to the "new me" that might benefit from a little spoiling. I'm not sure yet. Have to think about it. Would that be a ritual of self-love, or would be a step in the wrong direction? To put on a little lip gloss, and a dab of essential oil? I think it would help keep my spirits up; like actually putting clothes on in the morning...rather then wearing PJs all day. Who knows?!? I'm totally rambling now!!!!!
My biggest problems are being lazy, leading a sedentary lifestyle, and a problem focusing on goals. This lifestyle change is going to be a BITCH!!!! I know it is. No doubt about it. I'm on for a rough time! As far as I understand it.....if I can force myself to adhere to the rules for a month, then I'll fall into a routine of it....hopefully. God forbid it takes more then a month of absolute self-discipline. Not that I expect it to be fun after a month. I know it will probably take a year before there's no thought required at all. I'm also familiar enough with detoxing to know that in midst of things going great....there will difficult times that pop up. As solidified shit is broken loose physically....it carries with it emotional shit that just as toxic. It goes hand-in-hand. There's a lot of crap to deal with at the beginning of detox, but it's nothing compared to the big chunks that break loose down the road. The stuff we didn't even know existed.....it's buried so deep.
People that practice detoxing and cleansing on regular basis, understand one thing that's extremely beneficial........things will be going great, there will be all this energy, and focus, and calmness, and a interesting natural buzz. Everything is working great, and they'll claim they've never felt better in their life. Then, suddenly they're flat on their back....sick, exhausted, bent over the toilet, etc. Those that are seasoned will tell you very calmly that this is a very good thing! Your body is reacting adversely to some terrible toxic substance that's broken loose. Basically it will feel like a bad flu.....with mucus, and headaches, and body aches, and blurred vision, foggy brain, exhaustion, etc. REST! Drink plenty of fluids, make sure you're eliminating frequently/easily, and rest, rest, rest. In a few days.....you'll feel even better then you were claiming you felt last week! And so the process goes until you're truly cleaned out. It's taken a lifetime to get to the point you're at now. It's not going to fix itself overnight. That should be understood from the beginning. 

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Good Quality Spam

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This comment was awaiting approval this morning.

I do love the way you have presented this particular difficulty and it really does provide me a lot of fodder for thought. However, from everything that I have observed, I simply hope when other opinions pack on that individuals continue to be on point and don't embark on a soap box involving some other news of the day. All the same, thank you for this excellent point and while I do not concur with this in totality, I respect the perspective.

Was deleted only bcuz it was in a weird place...."Grab-a-Badge" page, and not associated with any post I'd written. Good for spammers that at least take the time to generate well thought out comments to feed their spam-bots. Had this been a comment anywhere else....I wouldn't have thought twice about approving it. Or worse, replying to it! :P

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Rant: Butterfly Stompers

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I live with a person who takes it upon himself to point out everything I'm doing wrong. Everything he "thinks" I'm doing wrong, which immediately causes problems for me, since I'm not a big advocate for for the concept of "wrong" in the first place. The main issue here.....is that someone's idea of wrong is based solely on their on perception of things. They take nothing else into account. Okay, so this person is 80 years old...meaning their perception is going to be somewhat skewed in the first place. I allow some slack for that. Second, he's male..........so, even more skewed and linear. I allow some for that too. Okay, yeah...and he's "Southern". Suppose I have to allow some for this as well...despite thinking it poor excuse to be an narrow-minded, back-assward, idiot at times. Complete opposite ends of the spectrum (we are)....where from his point of view....most everything is based on the color of someone's skin, and what they have between their legs. A woman is suppose to dress pretty, wear make-up, perfume, and get her hair and nails done at the salon every week. They're meant to keep the house clean, iron and starch shirts, etc. Men are meant to pound their chests, say whatever comes to mind, make cruel jokes, and buy some sort of vehicle every 6 months.

Based on all that...............there is no unrealistic expectations in my mind that we're ever meant to see eye to eye. I can get around all that stuff, and ignore his opinions for the most part. What I find myself having a problem with..........is his casual negativity. I honestly think he find pleasure in talking trash, and bringing down others around him, when things aren't 100% with himself. Anyone know someone like that?? When he's in good spirits...he's all niceness, and compliments. When he's stressing for whatever reason.....he seems to be constantly deflecting all of it off him, and onto those around him. Or, is that just my perception? Guess it doesn't matter. He's not going to change. So, all in all it's a TEST for me to adapt & overcome!!! Isn't that why Blue Meanies, Butterfly Stompers, and Dream Busters exists for us?? To help us overcome issues we have....big or small.

Is the reason I still have someone in my life telling me, "You have a really pretty face. It's a shame you can't lose 50 pounds, because you'd be a knock out". Do I have hear this bcuz I still have some low, self-esteem issues? Bcuz isn't the process in my head going through all the reasons why that perspective is not healthy, helpful, or important? Aren't those people merely messengers? Projecting our own thoughts, or beliefs back on us...so we can work them out in our heads, and hearts? I think so.

When someone comes along and bothers to tell you you're not doing a good enough job of things....I think it only upsets us if we believe it. The more we believe it....the more it upsets us. In that case...I don't think it has anything to do with how it's delivered or by who. It's how it effects us, and WHY it effects us! I believe that to be a super important KEY to freeing ourselves up from crap.....becoming IMMUNE to it, is really what the process is. IMMUNITY. And, not through the type of RESISTANCE we usually grasp for right away. That 'blocking' sort of tactic....where we put up a hand, or slam a door, etc. Shut it out. That's not healthy resistance, it's fear-based. Nope....instead it's taking something in, exposing ourselves to it, testing it against our inner-truth of self, and then releasing it simply as useless to us. That process can get easier and easier the more immune we become, where it happens is micro-seconds. Something comes into our space, it's processed, and excreted as garbage. OR...........it rattles around inside us until we overcome it, or it destroys us.

I guess wit that understanding............my problem is with me! Not really......."what sort of bullshit is this person dishing out", but........what sort of bullshit am I allowing to effect me? And from an even more spiritual perspective......say, "I thank and respect this individual for being available to mirror and deliver my internal disease back at me, so that I can address it, and overcome it, and be a healthier person for it!"   And, "I honor me, for being strong, and respectful of myself, where I don't move through life in resistance and ignorance, afraid of what surrounds me.....but head on, with a healthy, open, joyful heart, that understands that my "natural" state of being is immune from all disease and negativity"!!!

Something like that. :P

</end rant>

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Ideals, Perfection, and Big Box Ramble...

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Got a few items yesterday....to help with staying organized. Not really 'feeling it'. In the past....I've been able to convince myself that there was some new method that would work wonders to kick my ass in gear on things. Like, new school supplies! Anyone remember that? Ah.....when it was easy for me to trust that reams of crisp paper, clean binders, duo-tangs (?), divider tabs......would catapult me to success as a student. Hmm. I think that's where the belief may have started? From there it shifts....some people thinking the more cleaning supplies and gadgets they have...the easier it will be to keep the house clean. The more beauty supplies on hand...the easier to work on gorgeousness. The more technology one is surrounded by...the easier to stay on the ball.

There's two detrimental thought processes going on here 1) That there's always things to ADDED to ones life to make things easier. and 2) That things are RIGHT in the moment, where we're at. The BETTER is always a point further down the road somewhere. The problem with that for me....is that I have a terrible belief solidified in my head, where I tend to PUT THINGS OFF UNTIL THE TIME & SITUATION IS RIGHT. And.....that never manifests to the IDEALS that I have set in my mind. I know it's a programmed belief....mere conditioning from the world around me, but it's a hard one to de-program from!!! What I've had to do instead....is change my ideals. Maybe it was my mom's collection of Architectural Digest magazines, but it my ideals as a child where unrealistically high! Compound that with a teenage girls ideas about being beautiful.....remembering that this back in the 80s when there was no room for flaws, fat, or failure. There were no punks, grunge, nerds, emo's. There was HOT or NOT. One was either popular, or............a complete REJECT. LOL. Times were tough if you're hair didn't feather just right, or you couldn't fit into standard jeans. I think the largest size back then was size 12, and was NOTHING to be proud of! I think I was size 12, when I was 12. I never fit the bill, or the painted on satin jeans! And I carried around this huge weight of disgust and self-loathing for myself for........God knows how long? Too long! I rebelled into different things, as un-perfect people do. Thank God for arts, and crafts, and nature.....the things that keep us grounded in ourselves.

I'm rambling, but.......PERFECTION is a twisted game with no winners. Don't underestimate it's power of distruction, and..........if you have children....be extra cautious of how you might be programming long-term shit into their precious, unconditional minds!!! I had to lecture Aunt Beth yesterday on something she was playing with James....asking him to pick his "favorite" hot wheels car out of pile. He's 21-months...and call me anal, but.....I saw it as detrimental. Beth thinks I'm crazy. I can't even explain it, but......picking a FAVORITE has a lot tied up in it. It starts one down an entirely different road of thinking! It works on developing the EGO, and that's not something that needs any reinforcement. In my humble opinion. Toys are toys, food is food, transportation is transportation, friends are friends.....playing "favorites" gets in the way. I don't support the process of sitting in ones mind....weighing out which friend is better then the others! Does that make any sense??? It's just an example of how dangerous everyday processes can be, especially where children are concerned. As programmed adults, it's super hard for us to see we're pre-programming our children. Maybe I'm being overly cautious, and this will end up biting me in the ass? I have to be super-conscious though. I don't want James' wasting the time I did.............setting himself up with IDEALS, which is actually setting ones self up for FAILURE....since perfection is unattainable. Blah, blah, blah.

My ideal now....not broken, but reduced severely...........is lots of quality time available for James and I to be present together, play, and explore, and grow. That involves some super, downsized lifestyle, with a minimal amount of material stuff in the way. I call it IKEA-syndrome. I love those tiny, little show spaces in IKEA......where everything is laid out perfectly (there's that thought again). The spaces are thoughtful, and artistic....simple, and flowing. A box with just the right amount of stuff to deal with. I'm kidding myself that it all wouldn't still be upside down at James' hands. Still, I find myself seriously attracted to the idea of 4 plates, 4 bowls, 4 knives, and spoons, etc. The minimal amount of nice, neat stuff.....with adequate storage! :P

I'm not the only one this appeals to, am I? 4 little place-mats, in a drawer with nice candle sticks, and beeswax tapers. Perfectly level-smooth floors, and a steam mop. Healthy plants, a vase of fresh flowers. Some beautiful, utilitarian pottery, the perfect salad bowl. One television, one dvd player, a luxurious set of bath towels. And..............like, that's it. Pretty much. Okay.....there's probably some Martha Stewart magazine mania showing through here. What would these spaces look like after an intense craft project, or after James got to the couch with his magic makers? Would it really be easier in a tiny space? Or, would be hell?? Total cabin fever, and tripping over stuff? My other ideal is an RV. Having the same minimalistic lifestyle, but MOBILE. Would it get any better/worse then that? I love the idea of never having to pack or unpack again! Just turn the key and go to some other fresh location!! Keep the energy moving....bugout when things get hectic or static. 

I'm not really for the idea of living in a BOX, but.....if that's the common option....IKEA has the tools for doing it right. Or, it's the inspiration anyway. I love this photo with the 20'x20' cardboard apartment box! I think IKEA should actually sell these.....insulated, and weather-proof!! Have it delivered, dropped off the back of a truck, and move right in. Stack them up, or spread them around like Legos. And...............they should cost $5000. No more!  Ready to plug into the grid, or with solar panels, and composting or incinerating toilet!!!!

Which leads to a new post..............the IDEAL that closest to my HEART (and has absolutely nothing to do with boxes at all)!!!!!

 

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grateful for being sick?

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Still sick with this terrible bug.....whatever it is, I don't know. Can't remember the last time I felt this shitty.

The thing about sick is that it really makes one appreciate when they're NOT sick! Bcuz, this sucks ass!!!! It's terrible to be dragging myself around with next to no energy. Everything is sore, hot, or mushy feeling. Tender. Flip me over............I'm done on this side. :( Generates a great deal of empathy as well, to others who aren't well! It's one thing to say...."oh, I'm sorry you're not feeling well". It's something completely different to be in the same boat!! In that sense, being sick is extremely HUMBLING! It's also and opportunity to STEP-UP and take care of ones self! This is something I really suck at. The execution of anyway, bcuz all the good intentions are there. With James.....it's not like I can take a nice long hot soak in the bath, or curl up in bed and sleep the day away. Ha. My self-love has to be easy, quick, and efficient. I'm trying, but it's hard when every few minutes I forget myself. Being sick....helps one remember.

The bad part about being sick? The house is a wreck. I can't keep up. I can barely sit and watch it being destroyed.......of course, all in good fun. But, that weighs on the bad side of things. I feel bad that I can't interact with James as much as usual.........as much as I'd like! I can't kiss and cuddle him as much, bcuz I seriously don't want him catching this crap. And....don't have the strength, or mental focus to play. On top of that.....the whole Christmas hoopla, has come to a bit of grinding halt. The tree half decorated, crafts, and fun stuff put on hold. Complete mental fog on the Christmas List....even though it's an actual list............I just sit and stare at it, with a blank mind.

Sad, sad, sad.........I've just been dragging my pathetic ass around the house.....looking like death warmed over, in my shabby bathrobe. I'm sure it's a sight. There's little food left in the fridge....some, but it involves cooking. Luckily James is only interested in breakfast foods lately. Eggs and toast, and livermush. That's about all I can manage. There's no pet food left of any kind, ran out yesterday, and the animals are driving me bonkers about it. And so on. I need a hot shower, some clean clothes, and a more driven attitude! Argggggg.....

This cold has morphed countless times in the last week. A sniffle, and sore throat. Stuffed head, and migraine, swollen sinuses and glands in my neck hurt the most. And feels like someone is trying to shove my eyeballs through the back of my skull. One day my nose is all drippy and clear, running like a faucet. The next day it's like green contact cement....then back to clear. It's moving all over the place. My head, chest, throat, and back again. It's a serious bummer!!!!!!!! IT'S GOING TO FEEL SO AMAZINGLY GREAT WHEN I KICK THIS THING IN THE ASS, AND I'M FEELING BETTER!!!!!! Like a new me (another good thing about being sick).

I haven't been doing a lot to kick it though. I'm not one for cold medicines of any kind. I never have stuff like that on hand. I do wish I had some cough drops or similar. I've sipped a few hot toddies with rum, lemon & honey. Those work really well, but temporarily. I've been taking Lactoferrin supplements, which I bought just in time for getting ill. Lactoferrin is whats in breast-milk that helps nourish the immune system. I've also been taking MMS (mineral miracle solution), but not as methodically as I should. I'm going to try my best to stay focused today....and get at least 4 doses in. That sounds like a good number. If you're into alternative medicine, and haven't heard of MMS, you should definitely read up about it. Might seem too radical for some, but it's not as crazy as it sounds. If nothing else.....one should have it on hand for STERILIZING around the house! And.....I've honestly have never found anything better for brushing teeth then MMS!!! You'd have to try it to understand. I'll have to do a separate post on it, as part of my 2012 DETOX section.

I feel like I've been through a cage-match with a gang of gorillas!!!!! Here's to hoping that I'm over the worst of it. This morning I'm hacking up extremely nasty junk, and feel the worst so far. Bit of a relapse, since I thought I was feeling better yesterday. Last night I lost my voice. Health thoughts! Healthy thoughts! There's shopping to do, chores to complete, gifts to get, cookies to bake......blah, blah, blah.

To anyone else out there that's not feeling 100%.........................May the beautiful, warm, rays of sun-shiny health and well-begin.......soak through to all the dark recesses of your being, and drive all the nasties out of hiding.....out of existence!!!!!!!!!!!! And, may you SHINE bright, with full-spectrum energy!!!

xoxoxoxoxox

 

 

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Sick....

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Woke up yesterday with a bad sore throat. Positive it's from Black Friday. >:(

I wasn't careful enough...now that I think about it. All those people...all those germs. I can't remember touching a lot of stuff. Thinking it must have been the checkout machine with the buttons. It's one thing everyone has their grimy fingers on. They should make tiny cans of Lysol you can hang on a keychain! :P

Ah well.....it's worse today. My head is completely stuffed, my neck hurts, my ears are itchy, my eyes are scratchy feeling and sore. ARRGGGH! Have ZERO strength! All I'm hoping is that James doesn't get it, which is really hard, since we're always in the same spot, sharing everything. Caught myself a hundred times yesterday....going for a sip of his juice, or him trying to put his fingers in my mouth...sharing a cracker or something. No kisses! Whah! :(

Don't want to Beth to catch it either, bcuz last time she was sick....James caught it bad. She's not as mindful as mom.

So...........need to keep away from everyone till I kick this. I'm taking xylitol nose drops, coconut oil, and MMS (mineral miracle solution). Hopefully that helps with the battle! I hate being sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else get sick from being out in the masses on Black Friday?

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