Man, what a night!\r\nIt''s going to be almost impossible to put into words...what I can remember. Won''t flow too nicely. Just woke up and I''m recalling it all as I write. Will be choppy.\r\n\r\nStarted out half asleep...hadn''t even hit the pillow before the wriggling started. I just laid there for a while and let it go. Was different though...more refined, delicate, with a female energy. I could feel the tendrils of her which had slipped out the side of my neck (between my neck and the pillow) and she was swaying around just behind my head...small, watching. I spoke to her...something about getting her to show herself, and how that was only fair/no big deal, who was watching anyway, and all that.\r\n\r\nShe did eventually...slither round to face me. (that''s unusual) I was surprised she was red. Blood red. Deep crimson, and in a very odd way...striking beautiful. I''ve seen a sort of starfish that''s similar, and just as memorizing. We talked for a short while...I can''t remember what about. Most likely about "why", "what", etc. Things relevant to being infested.\r\n\r\nTo cut to the chase...otherwise this will all be too too too long. She took me with her on a visional voyage inside my own body...and this is where it gets difficult, not necessarily in depicting what I saw, but now that I''m awake (writing) the thousand directions that my mind is taking it in, and not wanting it to be more confusing then necessary.\r\n\r\nWe were in a ship...typical, average sci-fi space craft. Huge. Enterprise size. First thing I noticed was that it was light out (in?!?) It was like daytime inside my body. Something to do with a gazillion electrical impulses, but it wasn''t a strobey, artificial light...it was a soft, luminous, constant, glow. And there was landscape. It wasn''t at all guts, tubes, and wiring. It was beautiful as well...soft, fleshy pastels, and consciously alive. (Something we very seriously forget about this Earth even though it''s moving, growing, processing, adapting, responding all around us!!!)\r\n\r\nThis red tentacled thing I was with had transformed into a woman, my age, in uniform...as my "tour-guide", although the feeling was very ''hush-hush'', as we slipped around the ship. There was lots of overlaying...the stuff that makes it hard to describe/put into 3 dimensional/linear discription. On one hand we were on a ship traveling my body, and on the other hand the ship *was* my body. Too hard to get across. There were also (at least) two distinct races on board......one that appeared human, but *technically* didn''t consider themselves "human", and the wriggly parasitic crew that appeared confined to certain portions of the ship...although there didn''t seem to be a great amount of difference in their standing. Symbiotic I suppose, and more intelligent in that idea than humans can really understand; the respectful balance of two halves making a ''whole'', that nothing is accomplished without the other...that sort of feeling. Equal standing.\r\n\r\nOh, I can''t remember all the places we went to, and even if I could you wouldn''t believe me. This is the part I''m trying to move my mind around. Almost every single ''point of interest'' had some grossly disturbing Hollywood theme to it. For instance there was a Disneyland! A place for shipmates to find escape in entertainment. (enter-tain(t)ment...not sure why, but that just popped into my head)(also...attainment, which Hollywould is very much about!) Anyway...Disneyland. I know it was bcuz I recognized the rides!!! My tour-guide smirked at that. She smirked at a lot of my reactions! There was a lot of *classical* associations inside me. Themey things like...Alice in Wonderland, Wizard of Oz, StarTrek and way-way beyond!\r\nBeing as hyper-conscious as I am in my dreamstate...I was already working to put 2 & 2 together. In my mind I could see these inner-working of mine as the same inner-workings as everyone else. That *inside* it was all one place...one in the same, and thinking about ''those'' who were privy to it long before me. I could see the message of it being introduced in everything around me in "day-to-day" life. Signs! Not twisted, jumbled, conspiracy signals for a few, but blatant, slap in the center of your face, outward, front and center truths...so bizarre they''re never noted. It was amusing and scary.\r\n\r\nWesley Snipes was there as well...eating my ice cream sundae, which I got for free bcuz the park was closing down/cleaning up as we arrived. Still trying to fit that piece in!!! There were also children aboard, families...and in that line of thought there was another strong feeling of being in *wait*. It wasn''t as if these were...how do I explain it?!? You know on the Enterprise there''s only adults? The Federation (like military)...all ''of age'' recruits off on some "tour of duty"!?! It wasn''t like that at all. This was like an entire civilization aboard *me*, but not the whole civilization...thinking that that would be segmented up between everyone on earth/in *body*. That''s just a theory of course. I got the feeling they were waiting on *us*, on something ''significant'' keyed to happen. Now, awake...I''m forced to play with the idea of 2012. I wasn''t getting the feeling that everyone was painfully bored and there was like 5,000 years to go. More, there was a seriousness to everything, or at least a ''stepping up'' kind of energy like "not much longer now". No time to mess about.\r\n\r\nThere was another area that viewed something different from the landscape of *me*. A much larger picture indeed; think maybe ''holideck''...some sort of radar on the multiverse. I wish I could explain better what I saw. The background (3-D) was blackness then a core tube looking energy that ran down the center of it all...made of light. The entire thing was all very mathematical, mandala like with rings, and intersecting grids, and levels all spinning, looping, rising and dropping, etc. The only things that didn''t seem to have a rhythm were millions of orbs (all different sizes and colors) that would appear randomly from the outer-edges, steadily flow towards the center core of light, then flash, and bounce off...not always in the direction they came from. I inquired about the orbs, and was told they were planets. That when they hit the core it signaled the end of their lifespan, but that they were instantly born anew, and set off to go another cycle. I didn''t ask about the beings on the planets...I somehow got the impression they weren''t a factor, or more...not related to this system at all. Living, conscious, karmic beings in their own right, but not "human".\r\n\r\nBrings up another point, which is the tour-guide calling me "Euphoric"...it was something I said to her in passing that I can''t remember, but her exact words were, "I thought you might be Euphoric, but I wasn''t *sure* till you mentioned ______" (whatever it was I mentioned!?!) Euphorian''s I assumed (to her) was some ancient race of humans. There wasn''t anymore said about it than that. At the same time I had also become inquisitive about a certain area of the ship that appeared to be off-limits. I was standing with a few guys in uniform who were gaurding the doors, as my tour-guide was approached by a shipmate for direction. I was idley talking about something, and have no idea why the word popped out of my mouth (it had no reference), but I said something about the "dominators" blah, blah blah...and the guards went freaky on me. They immediately got super-paranoid about the word, so I corrected myself immediately! "Did *I* say "Dominators"? No, no...I meant..." (add blather here).\r\n\r\nThis commotion caught the tour-guides attention, and she quickly ushered me off, as if we might get ''found out''. Later I did catch a small glimpse of something to do with that closed quadrant. Something...I have no idea what it was?!? Oddly enough it looked like a foot in uniform. Don''t ask. It hovered, and moved quickly. The impression was it had ''turned'', or was a ''mole'' of some type. Privy to the workings on ''this side of the ship''...the thing was making a break b
ack to the confined area, and the entire ship went on red-alert. Somehow the success of this little creature getting back to the back-end of the ship with the information he possessed equaled something worse then death. They caught him within inches of his goal. I still have no idea what to make of that?!? I''ll try and summarize my feelings in a second.\r\n\r\nThe last part was standing off in some quite space with the tour-guide. There were cages beside us. A kennel of some sort. There were two cats side by side, but they weren''t cats...more like over-stuffed Hawaiian leis; the kind made out of plastic bags. They were weird. Somehow it started a topic about what was to come. Something that began telepathically I think...out of the blue. I inquired about returning to the ship when the time came. She affirmed that. I asked about bringing my cats. She said no. That upset me. She said the two cats in the cage were ones I was holding for my ''return''. They were cute...weird cute...I couldn''t deny that, and I said I''d take them *too*, but that I needed my cats also. She just held this pathetic look. Then I asked about my family, and she looked away as if holding back something she knew I wouldn''t want to hear. I pushed, "I can bring my family *right*???". She nodded, but not happy-like. "What? There''s an age-requirement?" That was the first thing that popped into my head...that maybe old people or something wouldn''t be allowed, or maybe friends that I considered family? Or...maybe it was only if I had my own family...like direct off-spring? I didn''t want to hear anything but "yes-yes, whomever you wish". It upset me enough to wake me up!\r\n\r\nThat entire last segment I mentioned is fairly irrelevant, save for the idea that they''re out there waiting on some sort of cataclysm...or maybe just the ''resetting'' of some clock?!?\r\n\r\nMy thoughts...personally, without having to re-hatch.\r\n\r\n1) That I was really only shown things from a single perspective. My own? Is the guide-woman ''me''? That would be the typical way to view it. I personally don''t follow that dogma. In a very broad sense...yes, it''s all me. Everything around me is me, but then ''mirrors'' come in play, which change the dynamics. I''m interested in *why* it was a ''single'' perspective, not from a single individual, but a single mind-set. To explain that I have to go to...\r\n\r\n2) Was there some kind of manipulation going on? The visions and experiences I trust are usually the *unbiased* ones, bcuz truth to me is gray. No right & wrong, black & white. It had a unbiased air to it, but something behind it felt orchestrated. The entire thing could have held truths, but the main goal could still be dis-information.\r\n\r\n3) The feeling I had whilst wondering around in the vision was in regards to the parasites. Again, there was a lot of telepathic stuff going on. I was telepathically having a conversation with this red, wriggling creature before me, then telepathically chit-chatting with her on tour of the ship, but underneath it all there were ideas being formed in my mind that I''m not sure are mine. The first being that ALL the creatures aboard this vessel were parasites, and the human form some took was only to make me feel less threatened. In that idea conspiracies sprout...some "all for one, one for all idea" that i''m not sure I can swallow the whole pill of. The thought that came after that was that I might very well be a parasite myself...whatever portion of me that was brought to the ship. I struggle with that idea a lot. It''s not new. That this *mind*, this ego, this thing I refer to as *I*, *me*...could in fact be the parasite that''s occupying this primal, innocent, human host. To fully understand that one has to put aside the common definition of ''parasite''. Symbiote is a better word for that.\r\n\r\nSo maybe it was all truth; truth to the parasite *me*. Or...maybe me overhearing, *over-witnessing* something that has nothing to do with me at all...if I''m the primal innocent in all this?!? See, it gets confusing!!! Maybe the time coming up for departure is for the parasites?!? Maybe we''re the safe-houses for these beings till the *great shift*? The day of purification? 2012s alignment into the golden age?!? A time for apocalypse...for revelation...an awakening to our true selves without manipulative attachment, whether we be the primal humans, or the highly advanced parasitic squidies...whichever.\r\n\r\nTo be continued...\r\n\r\nThere''s more ideas I have about this, but too much other junk on mind that''s getting in the way. The main ideas I have to note so I''ll remember.....the background exchange of information. highly-advanced...that would explain why lots of people get the same ideas at the same time, how culture is driven on a deeper level, ideas about "intuition" and sixth senses........but also carrying the energy of conspiracy. That there could very well be an completely different race of beings living right here with us/now...for millennia maybe?!? I''ll even add the idea to top it off with a big red cherry...that it''s a much, much more advanced race...and that a lot of what we struggle with as "humans"...is in being privy to their goings on, but kept in the dark!!!! That a majority of the information, the needs and wants, the yearnings, the beliefs, etc. could merely be some sort of crossed-lines in our psyche''s...like party-lines! The fears of a dying race perhaps. That''s not a new concept with ''alien'' (foreign) beings.\r\n\r\nI''m not one for getting into big ideas about EVIL. It''s illogical to me. Parasites have a purpose of self-preservation (mainly). Even astrally in the whole vampiric realm of things...I''ve never had the feeling that it''s *just* a feeding frenzy for vital energy. I suppose that has to do with the intelligence I sense in them....that they''re just utilizing something we really aren''t/weren''t using anyway. (Ask a vampire and they''ll admit to that...that if people are going to waste themselves they''ll happily tap the resource!!!) that other 90% to keep their race alive in some way that I''m not going to pretend to understand. That they really don''t mean us any harm...maybe the same way we don''t really mean our environment any harm....it''s our home after all. We just forget.

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I suppose I''ll write this now, while it''s still somewhat clear in my mind.\r\n\r\nCatchy title is it not? There''s one thing missing from this blogging stuff...an account of my history with ''other'' worldly things. I can''t get into all that now, but I''ll mention that I don''t sleep. I haven''t had a decent nights sleep in over thirty years. I try to sleep. I take lots of naps, and anyone who knows me would insist I sleep a lot, but it''s not sleeping; more and more does it become ''work''. Not work to sleep, but ''work-while-down''. I''m hyper-conscious, which is to say that 85% of the time I''m completely aware of my surroundings while I''m ''resting''. Awareness on at least two levels, which we''ll call physical & astral...although I''m not going to insist on that. i''m actually at a point where even when i close my eyes to try and sleep...it''s as if my lids are transparent. Awake or asleep...all my senses are available to me, and "more"!\r\n\r\nI don''t get into a lot of the technical jargon that gets tossed around...mapping out all of it in quadrants and latitudes, and assigning numbers to levels, etc, etc. What''s that accomplish? As humans we just don''t posses the ability to define it well enough, and trying to me...is a waste of energy. You''ll also find that I''m not into *proving* myself. I have very little interest in measuring myself against other peoples experiences, and even less in measuring myself up in order to impress others. More energy wasted.\r\n\r\nThose that read this and think it''s too far out will do so for a reason beyond me, and those that read this and *know* exactly what I''m speaking of...well...doesn''t really matter one way or the other.\r\nIgnorance is bliss, and it''s way nice to find others that can relate to ones suffering! \r\n\r\nBut...where was I?!? The squid. Bit misleading for in fact it was an octopus. Pi! Octopi!!! Hard to tell when you''re residing in the belly of one, and for that matter more is misleading...bcuz I''m not sure if it was I that was exorcised or the cephalopod? So intertwined we all are, but that''s another post as well.\r\n\r\nOn with my account.\r\nAs usual I was in a hyper aware state laying in bed attempting to catch some zzzz''s when the energy around me began to grow thick. There''s a set of signs that make me well aware that I''m not going to get any rest at all 1) Intense static electricity where the covers actually float above my body, sparks, and hair standing on end. 2) The mattress undulating beneath me as if I''m bobbing around at sea on an inflatable, or like it''s stuffed with live pythons. 3)...a thick, heavy, stickiness...like a membrane around me in a three to four foot radius of hyper-sensitivity. 3 was the vibe d''jour.\r\n\r\nIt''s as if the ''real'' world fades away, and what''s within the membrane becomes ''more real''. Anyhoo...The wriggling began; not from the ''outside-in'' this time, but from the inside out. It''s about 50/50. Resituating themselves as necessary. Squatter''s with no concern for the landlady!\r\n\r\nThis is the boring part...when I manage get myself in sync with the beasty where I can grab big, nasty, wriggling handfuls. It''s incredibly labor intensive, and exhausting. I''m talking approximately 30 feet of slimy-rubber per tentacle. If you''ve ever had the pleasure of actually touching a live squid or octopus you''ll know what I mean...the insane strength they posses. Snakes too, but snakes don''t have that "stretchy" factor. Point, my arms just aren''t long enough to accomplish much. I''m sure it''s quite ridiculous to behold the operation. I grab handfuls of tendrils, and twist them around my elbow as one would wind yarn, or an extension cord. I also use my legs, and feet when I get a good portion out I''ll attempt to step on it to hold it down, whilst I yank out more.\r\n\r\nProblem?!? That there''s no barrier for these parasites. It''s not an orifice thing...although they do have a preference for all those! They can work their back right through the flesh. So, while I''m yanking it out of my throat...it''s slithering back in my belly...that sort of thing. Pure frustration until I collapse in exhaustion! Plus...the things break off in portions when forced to; much like a tapeworm I''d guess, or the way lizards drop their tails when trapped. I have noticed that they break off in specific segments...not just anywhere. Anyway...\r\n\r\nI don''t know if I was feeling particularly spry, or this thing was off-center, but I managed to pull quite a large portion out before it really began to react. I can''t say what it was that caused me to try something different?!? Perhaps it was the low-level threat thing I was getting back? That I was able to stay calm, and out of body long enough to do some damage?!? It wasn''t that usual desperate tearing and clawing thing that''s typically the case. There was a different intention behind it all...more deliberate, less concerned in a sense. Less personalized.\r\n\r\nI do a ton of hands on healing in the astral, which I''ll talk about some other time...but rarely do I use it on myself. I have on occasion used it on personal attachments, and usually with good success, but never this good. Without thought I began focusing my (thoughtless)(pure intentional) energy into my hands, and when I did so the tendrils began to shrink! Not so much recoil, or "counter", but simply shrink into nothingness. I was amazed at first. I worked at it a little more, stopping frequently to check...make sure it wasn''t growing back elsewhere. Nothing.\r\nI was still having an incredibly difficult time though as I was still working to pull out consecutively larger portions of it each time, and throw some hand-ons stuff on what I had in excess. At the same time the membrane was fading in and out of a different environment, which usually happens, and is a little hard to explain.\r\n\r\nWhere I wound up was some kind of hospital, with the White Coats. I was able to get a better look around then usual, since I wasn''t all freaked out/caught up in the battle. There were two nurses, a head nurse and her assistant, and a doctor. All average, normal, human looking. No mantis'' or anything! The doctor looked to be in his sixties, and was touting the infamous clipboard. I was laying (at this point half on, half off) a hospital bed still struggling with the octopus, which ya think would freak the average person out to witness, but these ''professional'' couldn''t have cared less. Except for the doctor, who seemed increasingly pleased by my progress and was logging all of it along the way. He wasn''t talking to me, but he was talking to the nurses. Going on about how well I was doing, and wasn''t it great, look-look, and all that. Sort of like a proud father. I got that feeling pretty heavily...that the situation was something of a re-birth. That''s hard to explain as well. The same idea that if pediatrician''s merely stood back and allowed the child to birth itself; that only the strongest would somehow manage their way out, and survive...that was the energy being passed on. That it was some rare and joyous occasion.\r\n\r\nI could feel that I was losing grip with the environment and slipping back into so-called reality, and I hadn''t "really" accomplished my goal, which is always to get clear of one entire tenant. I calculated my energy vs. the girth of the beast, and began to see the futility in my efforts. I had to hang in as long as possible an work harder. I just kept at it. I was working on "layers" now. Layers that I never noticed before...more thick membranes; gelatinous, and sticky. Translucent, and about an inch thick. Also hard to explain, but like some massive, living mushroom cap that was pulled down over my head to cover me tightly down to and around my shoulders. It wasn''t easy, but I kept pulling them off...layer after layer, and each time feeling more ''alert'' , clearer then ever. It''s impossible to explain the euphoria of removing these nasties from ones body, but this was super-euphoric and blissful!\r\n\r\nSuddenly there was resistance. I''d reached the bulbous main body o
f the thing...like trying to pull a garbage bag of jell-o through a 2" diameter pipe! I gave it all the energy I had left. I tugged with all my might, and then there was this huge sucking ''pop'' and a gushing type feeling...some re-flow or release of energy that I almost collapsed in awe with. There laying on the floor in front of me was the entire octopus. It was pissed, but pathetic and sad, and extremely primal. Gave me lots of mixed emotions! Sympathy I believe can be a dangerous thing where these beings are concerned. 1) It''s a sort of a silent invitation back in, and 2) they just don''t operate on that level of self-consciousness. I kept myself from reacting. I just stared at this glowing, beautiful indigo-blue creature, with pulsating ripples of white electrical stipes here and there. It was an amazing moment!!!\r\n\r\nNot complete of course. When I say I got it out entirely...it''s not entirely the truth. It was the whole "segment", a entire "center", a being unto itself, but part of a much larger, more complex matrix. The next segment I realized as I began to fade back into body...was lodged in my throat...gagging me, and even more pissed then the portion that I''d removed. I didn''t have it in me to keep on. I woke up gagging. For the next few hours it was hard to breath, and I felt forced to keep swallowing over and over till eventually it seemed to relax.\r\n\r\nThe week following the experience I stayed alert to how my body was reacting to being a little more clear. Besides the initial euphoria and choking the first day. The other days I noticed strange sharp pangs, and stabbing pains...each time in a unique area. A toe, and then the small of my back, a rib, then my temple, etc. That was about it. Oh, and lots of rumbly-tummy!!!\r\nThat seems part and parcel to the resituating of the so-called negs....and of course exhaustion!\r\n\r\nIt fades so quickly...that clearness and freedom/space. Falling back into the rut, back into routine, and now that the big guy has technically been replaced...it once again settles back on useless rebellion. Despite all my loathing for these infesting creatures...I can''t seem to help but feel empathy. It''s really truly beyond all my logic...it''s just a gut feeling. And, despite all my empathy and compassion...I can''t truly help loathing these little buggers. There''s more to my POV on that, but it''ll have to wait.

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