Not much happening at night that I can remember, but must be chocked full since I''m not feeling rested at all. Assume lots of downloading is taking place these days. Anyway, I''m taking a regular nap everyday from 30 minutes to an hour...and not getting any sleep there either. Most active time of day seems to be around 3pm.\r\n\r\nYesterday, right off...I came face to face with what appeared to be an old Jewish woman. She was very pleasant, but sorta spacey...a flibberty-jibbet of sorts. We were standing in that dark neutral space of mine that I call my "Etheric Waiting Room". She came up, took me by the arm, and manifested us both in the middle of her kitchen. She wanted to feed me, and give me tea, and chat, and chat. Then loads of neighbors came over (all of the Jewish grandmother variety)...and they were all tugging on my energy.\r\n\r\nI wasn''t sure how to approach the situation of her being dead. I asked if I could see the garden, which all her friends kept going on about. I thought that possibly her manifested world ended at the threshold. It didn''t. We walked around for awhile...and I could see where she put a ton of energy into all she busied herself with throughout her days. Also, made me consider that it was my energy that was footing the bill for all of it.\r\n\r\nI asked if I could speak to her alone for a moment.\r\n\r\nShe happily obliged and took me into her dining room. I asked how she was feeling. "Fine, fine my dear", she insisted. I told her to sit down...there was a fragile like quality about her, and a closeness that caused me to be courteous and gentle. I asked her how she felt about me. She went for a while about how much she adored being friends with me, how I inspired her, and how much we had in common. How thrilled she was that I''d finally come to visit! She wasn''t making the situation easy, so I had to just blurt it out. I told her her palce was beautiful, her world was beautiful, and how I was sure she was very attached to it, and loved it...but...it wasn''t real. She cocked her head. I told her she was dead. She didn''t respond at first...processing my words; then she broke into tears.\r\n\r\nI sat beside her and held her. Then she was no longer an old Jewish woman, but a mature (less older) black woman. Sort of confused me at first. It didn''t take long for her death to register. She explained that her husband had been cheating on her, and was leaving her...so she took his gun and shot herself in the head. She held her and said it hurt. She said that she had worked for an older Jewish woman...and had always admired her so much...her wealth, status, friends, and happiness. She wanted to be so much like her....thoughtful and giving, with a beautiful home for people to enjoy themselves in...for people that wanted to stay forever. So, when she died she took on that persona. I told her she''d done a fabulous job, and praised her for a good while...during this time the friends who were occupying the kitchen, had all moved one by one into the dining room with us, and were listening to me explain her situation. They were all whispering and wondering if they were dead as well.\r\n\r\nI had to explain to her that she was a very kind, very sweet woman...BUT, that she was making my life difficult for me; that she was using my energy to exist as she was and that it wore me down, and made it hard for me to do accomplish the things I needed in my life. She understood and as very apologetic. I began to get emotional, probably absorbing what she was experiencing...but it was causing me to wake up...and I hadn''t yet worked to release her. It took a lot for me to stay in and keep explaining the process to her.\r\n\r\nI told her that I helped people reunite with their families. That there was another place much better then the place she was at (if she could believe it)...and that she was free to go there if she wanted. It was the first time I''ve given an attachment of mine the option of staying around. I told her she could think about more if she wanted, take her time with it, and that when she was ready I''d help her cross over.\r\nI told her to close her eyes, and look through the darkness to see if there was anyone out there she recognized. She found her mother, which she seemed most overjoyed about....who she was the closest with. She was anxious to go. I explained that whenever she was ready to she could move on her own...that she didn''t need me to help her (fearing that any moment I would fully wake up). I told her all she had to do was take her mothers hand, and let go of her all her connections to this place.\r\n\r\nI did wake up, but I can stay in trance long enough (if I remain completely still and hold on to the energy...till I fall back into the same place). When I did...the old woman was holding ''my'' hand...and we were walking across the large garden to an area where there was a black family sitting on the porch of another house. They immediately gathered around her as family. So...I thought that was good sign, that possibly I was being taken along for the meeting...to pass her over to her folks. Then I realized that entire family was trapped in the astral realm as well. They weren''t all attachments of mine (like the neighbors)...it was some sort of crossed field or community..a foster situation of sorts...hard to explain. There were at least a dozen children of various ages. and a few adults that called the old woman ''mom''.\r\n\r\nI had to go through the entire process again...with the oldest of the group. She was of course shocked to find out that they were all dead, but she admitted it explained a lot of things. I was going to work on releasing the entire family. I''ve never done a such a large release, but I couldn''t see where it would be anymore difficult. Except...the old grandmother was missing! When I inquired to her whereabouts...they said she''d gone back home. 
A moment of empathy, and I didn''t want to release the only family this woman had...and I was already on the verge of waking up...so there wasn''t much I could do. I explained the process again, and that they didn''t need me to pass over into a ''freer'' zone of existence. Then I was awake.\r\n\r\nAwake and thinking what an extremely odd job I have. I thought...what would a normal person do if someone just showed up out of nowhere and told them they were "DEAD"?!? How weird would that be? I''m like the Angel of Death I thought. I go and tell people that their lives are over, and I''m gonna help them cross over to the other side. I thought...there has to be a better way to explain it! Something less scary, but isn''t that was Azrael does? Tries and makes it less freaky!?! Then I had to sit and think awhile about whether or not these attachments are really doing much harm? Some do; some are nasty as all get out! But the sweet ones...or the children. Just wonder I guess...on another level...if releasing them to "the light" is really what I think it is!??! What if it''s not? What if it''s a rouse? A trap? That would be terrible!!!
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Sometimes I''m just too conscious for my own good! Anyway...I remember pushing them off slightly and asking them if they didn''t have something to share with me. They acted unconcerned at first, but I was in a determined mode. I asked the first one to share something with me, he said "I am". I turned to the second, and asked the same. He responded the same, to which I said, "Sharing what?...Sucking on my tit?" I''m not sure where the frustration was coming from...I think possibly mirroring something they felt for me?!? The first one moved back into the circle and vanished again. I tried to re-word myself, and come from a more logical place, and was fumbling, when the second one finally turned (a bit abruptly) and with an irritated energy, and put me in my place by saying.........."you doubt yourself too much!" It shut me up. I asked for it, and he was straight with me. I didn''t expect the response, but I couldn''t argue it. I agreed. I agreed a whole bunch. It seemed to cause some commotion about the group. The feeling I was getting was that...........it''s all "very" so-so in that room, and anything that wrinkles the status quo...causes some strange mulling about in search of some form of distraction (or another). I found this very interesting.\r\n\r\nThe circle disbursed, and folks began scattering around. One man took my hand though, and led me over to the far side of the room to a puzzle that was spread out on the floor. It had to have a million, tiny pieces to it, and there was no picture to help place the pieces together; just a small number on each oddly shaped piece. The background of the puzzle was pink, and an odd piece here and there had a small gem stone set in the center, instead of a number. The man was (how do I stereo-type him?) Nerdy/D&D/Renaissance? Husky build, beard, glasses. I noticed he stuttered a bit, had some impairment of some sort, but seemed probably the most brilliant of the bunch. He was the ''Emotional-Thinker''...extremely passive, timid, nervous, and caught up in his own little corner of the room.\r\n\r\nA woman came up and stood beside us...I immediately got another timid energy, but eager, and jumbled...sort of all over the place in her enthusiasm, but hidden a good bit under her self-control. I got the feeling that she wanted to share so much, that she couldn''t decide on any one thing...so she just kept following me around.\r\n\r\nThis was the first time I got a good look at the room. It looked to be about a 100'' x 100'', dark (as I said), filled with mismatched furniture, and carpeted. I walked over to a large lazy-boy-like recliner...and the guy sitting in it. I can''t remember exactly what I asked him, but the thought that kept cycling through my mind was getting these people out of it (my mind that is). I must have said something about getting out and seeing more, bcuz his response was, "Why? Why would I want to do that when I have the greatest view in the universe"...then he pointed up at the ceiling. There was no ceiling though. I hadn''t bothered to look up before, but now when I did........I noticed the box/room was open at the top, and all I could see was the cosmos. It was breath taking! I reached out to one of the white walls, and my hand moved through it like it was made of a thin membrane of latex. It stretched, but it didn''t move through. A soft prison. I made a mental note. I''m not sure what personality he was?!? Simple, commonplace, sit-on-his-ass-and-stare-at-the-stars man!\r\n\r\nI could feel myself pulsing in and out of the scene, so time was of the essence. Not enough time to move through everyone. I jumped atop a coffee table in the center of the room, and tried to get everyone''s attention. I noticed more ''individuals'' at this point. One in particular who wouldn''t shut up! A big man too, maybe all dressed in blue, and sort of pale, with a big black beard. He was stubborn and demonstrative, and full of himself. I pondered shortly about that persona?!? 
Being such a recluse I''m sure it frustrates him that he doesn''t get to have his say with the outside world. So, as is fitting.................tons of internal dialog! Too much actually.\r\nI finally went over, stepping across furniture, and lifted him from the couch and plopped him over on beside me on the coffee table. He didn''t miss a beat...he just kept talking (now to himself). Anyway...this cause more confusion. There were a lot of people jumping in to help me quiet the room...telling everyone else to shush...and that just caused more noise. I was thinking it was all pointless when I turned for a moment, and noticed a large set of curtains hanging on the wall behind me. I moved off the table and peeked behind them. It was a large picture window that almost filled the entire wall, and there was a view................a garden! But, it was dead.\r\n\r\nThis touched me in deep place. As everyone continued trying to get everyone else''s attention...I began pulling down the curtains. First a set of heavy drapes, then a top that more decorative draping fabric, then sheers. I just kept ripping them off one by one. That strange "magnetic" thing that happens with the pins, needles, and wire began. All the hardware from the drapes was sticking to the palm of my right hand. This always drives me nuts! So, the window was clear now, but I was caught up int trying to pull the pile of crap stuck to my hand. I looked around and no one seemed interested by the outside. Again, it was as if they were all distracting themselves with trivial things to ignore it. Except for one guy that walked up beside me and joined me in staring out. He was gay (was the immediate) feeling. Compassionate, interested, creative, self-conscious in appearance, etc.\r\n\r\nI asked him why no one used the garden. He shrugged, as if the novelty of it had worn off long ago. There was a sadness about him, where I got the feeling that he''d tried to keep interest in it, but like I was trying to get the rooms attention...it was pointless. He''d given up, sadly. Feelings that he was most interested in making it nice for everyone else, and sens
(that was a treat!) His hands were messed up also, and all across his shoulders, and a slight "tool" problem. I gave him the whole body treatment!!! 