From around 6, until around 25...I don't think a single day went by without crying. Serious crying. Victimized crying. Now? I never cry. I can't remember the last time I just broke down into tears, and let it all out.
I woke up in middle of the night, subconsciously sobbing. Some deep emotional stuff that I have yet to resolve. Amazing how it will surface, again and again...till it's dealt with.
I definitely don't act things out enough! I used to come unglued at the drop of a hat, didn't matter where I was. Appropraite or not. If I felt the need....I just let it out, and I felt the need a lot! Learned I suppose, from my mom...or it's our Sicilian blood? My sister's the same. Once we get started...there's no turning us off. Not till we've gotten it out of our systems. If you know anyone like this...there's one simple way to end them humiliating you in public (or anywhere)...simply VALIDATE what they're saying!!! That's the lynch-pin.
Long-story short. I don't cry or get pissed off anymore. I'd prefer to think it's bcuz I'm so much more "together", but............wonder if I'm just not better at internalizing? I think I'm more together, though. I can definitely let the small stuff go. But, I've woken up crying a half dozen times in the past couple of months. Most of it's old stuff. Big stuff. Stuff that no one wants to hear about anymore. Okay....but it's still there, and it needs to come out. Problem is...no validation from the people I have issues with. Of course, ultimately....the "issues" are with me. To get a point of acceptance and forgiveness in myself...I'm gonna have to get messy with it...exhaust myself, and finally give in. Where do I find the time or place to do that...without scaring my baby, or having to explain myself to others? "Um......I'm doing Cry Therapy.....You should try it".
Thinking about all the bizarre, non-emotional interviews I've seen...from the parents that lost children in the Sandy Hook shooting. No one balling their eyes out. Are we forgetting how to cry? Are we becoming more sociopathic? Less emotional? More apathetic about everything? Are we just worn out? Do we fear making a scene? Do we fear being vulnerable? Besides my 3 year old...I can't remember the last time I've seen anyone cry. It's weird.
BENEFITS OF CRYING
Tears clear your eyes
Tears lubricate the eyeballs and eyelids and also prevent dehydration of various mucous membranes.
Tears kill bacteria
Tears bathe your eyes in lysozyme, one of the most effective antibacterial and antiviral agents known! Lysosyme can kill 90 to 95 per cent of all bacteria in just 5-10 minutes. Without it, eye infections would cause most victims to go blind.
Tears aid in detoxing the body
Emotional or stress induced tears help remove toxic substances from the body. Researcher William Frey, tested tears from subjects exposed to cut onions, then again from watching sad movies. The emotional tears (from movies), contained far more toxic bilogical byproducts. Conclusion is that crying is a excretory process that aids in removing toxic build up from the body.
Tears elevate mood and reduce stress
Emotional tears contain the endorphin leucine-enkephalin, which is a natural painkiller. They also have higher levels of proteins, and of manganese and potassium, and hormones, including prolactin. Manganese is an essential nutrient, and too little can lead to slow blood clotting, skin problems, and lowered cholesterol levels. Too much can also cause health problems. Potassium is involved in nerve function, muscle control, and blood pressure. Prolactin is a hormone, whos main involvement is trigger lactation, but is also involved in maintaining the immune system, and managing stress. Women have more prolactin then men, and this increases drastically during pregnancy...when women are known to cry more. Statistics average crying at 47 times a year for women, 7 times a year for men....unfortunately, I think it's a lot less then that!
Just like exercising, tears help to relieve stress. One of the most important compounds found in tears is adrenocorticotrophic hormone (ACTH), one of the best indicators of stress. Suppressing tears increases stress levels, and contributes to diseases aggravated by stress, such as high blood pressure, heart problems, obesity, type-2 diabetes, and peptic ulcers.
Theory has it that crying has been shown to increase skin sensitivity (before and after), and trigger deep breathing. "It is possible that crying is both an arousing distress signal and a means to restore psychological and physiological balance," say researchers at the University of South Florida. Others suggest that emotional tears signal distress and encourage group behaviour, as well as improve social support and inhibit aggression. 88,8% of people FEEL BETTER after crying.
Tears release feelings
Crying is therapeutic. It lets the anxiety, resentment, and frustration out, before it's creates all kind of havoc with your nervous and cardiovascular systems. Time and again you go through conflicts and resentments that gather inside the limbic system of the brain, and in certain corners of the heart. Your feelings are like air. The more you suppress your emotions, the more they are bound to explode some day. Suppressing feelings affects their quality. Crying is all about cleansing your mind, and it is considered very healthy and gives you a relaxed feeling. So, let your feelings be felt.
Unfortunately, findings are that men who cry are more accepted by women. Women who cry, are less accepted by men. Weird that there should be some sexual separation in crying, when all in all it's something healthy everyone should partake in. Tears have numemrous critical functions. Be more supportive of everyone in your life that cries!
SUPPORT EVERYONE THAT CRIES. MALE OR FEMALE. OLD OR YOUNG.
VALIDATE THE PERSONS EMOTIONS (even you can't fully understand them)
IF YOU DON'T CRY ON A REGULAR BASIS...CONSIDER MAKING YOURSELF CRY AS A FORM OF SELF-THERAPY. OR EVEN MORE, LIKE EXCERCISE...AS PART OF A DETOXING PROCESS.
DON'T TELL YOU CHILDREN NOT TO CRY! TELL THEM IT'S OKAY TO CRY IF THEY FEEL LIKE IT. BE SUPPORTIVE. IF IT'S A TANTRUM...ALLOW THEM TO WORK IT OUT OF THEIR SYSTEM. DON'T STIFLE THEM.