Detox Journal: Hard parts

I’m so ready to change things up. I can’t stand this ‘same-old’ anymore. At the same time…..I’m not looking forward to it. That doesn’t make sense. This isn’t a 5 day fast, or an herbal flush, this is permanent. I don’t know what that means exactly….there’s just not any room for failure. The last thing I want to do is fall off the tracks after a few days, bcuz it’s too much. I’m going to have to pay extra attention to how I introduce the whole thing on a physical and sub-conscious level, so my body doesn’t retaliate violently, or fight me through the beginning stages. I need cooperation from myself! Self can be the hardest to work with. Nobody knows me better, knows what buttons to push to derail me, break me down, etc. I can’t have any of that.


1) Giving up cigarettes will by far be the worst. Not that I believe my body will retaliate much, it’s all the emotional and comfort crap that will rear it’s head! I find I don’t have too much problem when I’m keeping myself busy with chores, and James. The cravings aren’t too bad to deal with. The absolutely hardest thing for me… being on the computer without smokes!!!!! I’d say it’s impossible, but that’s defeatist! If I wasn’t doing anything important online, I’d just pack up the computer and stay away from it for a few months. But…with working online…that’s not an option. It’s going to be the hardest part of my lifestyle change… doubt!

2) Going to give up coffee as well, at least 14 days, as part of my initial cleanse. I might just give it up altogether and do teas, or alternative coffee which I don’t mind. I consider myself a ‘serious’ coffee drinker, not as bad as I use to be….drinking it constantly through the day and evening. Now, it’s about 3 cups in the morning, and sometimes one in the PM. I’ve quit before for cleanses, and there’s the WORST headaches from stopping. Passes in a couple days. Besides that reaction….the hardest part (again) will be losing the ‘comfort’ of it, and the emotional addiction.

3) Living with others that not on the same page! This is a big one. I live with Southerns. That means meat and more meat, and bread. Bread is something to accompany all meals, if not that…then potato chips. Soda or beer are the beverages of choice. Milk is extremely important…..a gallon per week/per person; as is cold, sugar-cereal. Everything that isn’t fried, is either barbecued, or smothered. Acceptable side dishes are: potato salad, mashed potatoes, french fries, fried okra, macaroni and cheese, and the healthiest of of the list….coleslaw. Then there’s sweets. Typically anything on sale from the bakery department, plus Oreo’s, Lil’Debbies, and the like. This is the polar opposite of what I consider healthy food to be. I’m pretty immune to being in the house, unless I don’t have the energy or time to cook. I’d prefer not to have it in the house at all! I don’t want any of it. Another problem is James getting into bad habits with food. He loves chips, and french fries, and meat. I have noticed that when I take the time to prepare something healthy and it tastes good…when I put a lot of love into the food….he eats really well. When I’m terrible and put a microwave meal in front of him, he just plays with it. This change is for James as well as myself! Need to be vigilant!

4) Changing my ENTIRE routine! Somehow turning everything into a SACRED ritual of self LOVE is not going to be easy. I’m sure there are a lot of people, a lot of professionals….that would warn against such an undertaking. That small steps are more realistic, and realistic is better. On top of that, other would warn against any radical detoxing that would over-tax the body. I understand those perspectives and take them into account. From another perspective though….Why keeping doing things that aren’t productive? That are detrimental, pointless, or take in us a direction we don’t want to go? Or don’t go in direction whatsoever……that tends to be my gig. I know it’s not going to be easy, and…..that thought will be ten-fold once I begin. I’m just sick of going in an out of each day feeling blah, added to the guilt of where I feel I should be at. I’m not speaking about some fantasy lifestyle where I’m swimming around in an infinity pool, looking out over the french riviera, with a billion dollars, and a new body. I’m just talking about being healthy, always making the healthy choice, and aligning myself with life energy and love. That’s where we’re all supposed to be anyway. It’s our natural state of being, so how hard could it be???? I’ll keep ya posted! 😛


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