Always thinking of something to post, but not much comes from it. Doesn't seem like I'm any busier then normal. Same ol' stuff to apply myself to, but for this or that reason (as usual)....not much getting done. Something in the equation. Have so much time to work, and clean up, with 85% of my time being dedicated to James. Blogging, and extra projects slip to the sideline.
Detoxing and moving into a healthier function has come to a grinding halt, or a minimal drip, which is a constant, silent, frustration. Still in the works, but that aspect of it is getting tiring. All the thinking, and no doing.....iz driving me batty.
There's this intense manic energy surrounding me? Radiating from me? Compounded? I have no idea. Could write it off to warm weather, springish-fever, but....feels a lot more concentrated then that. Everyone seems to walking around with a great deal of it, and not having purged myself of my severe, empathetic nature....I'm still a discharge unit for everyone else's sketchy energy. Seems that's part of my calling, for those that aren't aware....as some kine of filtering system for weird, unbound energy. Not that that makes me 'special'. Think it's pretty much divided down the middle.....half channel in uncreative, unproductive energy....sometimes referred to as "drama queens", and the other half get to do the clean up. Neither side is anymore together. It's all a co-dependent mess as far as I can see it, bcuz it never gets to a point where it's cleaned up enough to make any healthy progress. People are beginning to recognize this on a physical, global scale, and entertaining the idea of "clean & green", but....there's a long way to go before people get the idea that the mess is merely a mirror of our spiritual consciousness. But...who am I to suggest that?
Anyway..........fruitless to convert it all into words. For some reason, some things seem more in my face then usual, and other things seem overly far away. Reality feels to be more liquid...which I'd assume is a good thing (for lack of a better word)...."better", "good", whatever. Fluid, easier to move.....that would signify a breaking lose of things, and that has good and bad points. In cleansing....it's a pre-purge, or pre-cathartic state, which allows freeing up to a more healthy state of being, but it also involves dislodging, nasty, parasitic crap that can make things worse, before they're better. Seems to be the point I'm wandering around in circles on. It's a sticky place, and depending on what perspective one holds to.....governs how long it lasts. I can see where I'm falling into the negative, and that requires a shift in perspective....most definitely!
Saying "I'm stuck" is going to manifest exactly that. There are more creative ways to go about getting out. It's not always forward and through....physically. I can clear things away emotionally, spiritually, mentally. I haven't been doing that either. Meditating my way out, working to combat the sketchy, manic energy, by creating a tranquil head-space...at the very least. Otherwise.....I'm sucking back coffee, puffing away, and shaking my head at it all. Thankfully there's always nature to retreat into.....green, lush, rejuvenating, and healing.
I found this one video that I wanted to post here. 'Course I didn't do it at the time, and now I have no idea how to locate it again. Was just some guy standing in the woods, talking about how beautiful and peaceful it all is. The profound point of the message being...that inside the machine....plugged in, and hooked up, and all that............we're beaten down by the idea that everything is in a dire mess, an urgent state of disrepair. Stuff is falling apart, breaking down, warring up, toppling over.......this against that. Everything against us. It's real, right? It's on television, on national news, alternative news...everywhere we look. Of course, all one has to do is get up off their ass and walk into the woods, and what???
What's wrong? Nothing! Bees are buzzing, birds are singing....everything is alive and thriving, and doing it's own thing....in harmony with everything else. As Bob would say...sun is shinning...the weather is sweet. Makes me want to move my dancing feet. Really such a terrible joke, to believe that it's a disastrous mess, beyond our ability to fix. Fixing is simply a change of view.
Keywords for MARCH: DEPROGRAM - UNPLUG - UNLEARN - DECONDITION