I live with a person who takes it upon himself to point out everything I’m doing wrong. Everything he “thinks” I’m doing wrong, which immediately causes problems for me, since I’m not a big advocate for for the concept of “wrong” in the first place. The main issue here…..is that someone’s idea of wrong is based solely on their on perception of things. They take nothing else into account. Okay, so this person is 80 years old…meaning their perception is going to be somewhat skewed in the first place. I allow some slack for that. Second, he’s male……….so, even more skewed and linear. I allow some for that too. Okay, yeah…and he’s “Southern”. Suppose I have to allow some for this as well…despite thinking it poor excuse to be an narrow-minded, back-assward, idiot at times. Complete opposite ends of the spectrum (we are)….where from his point of view….most everything is based on the color of someone’s skin, and what they have between their legs. A woman is suppose to dress pretty, wear make-up, perfume, and get her hair and nails done at the salon every week regularly, to the point where they are familiar with the salonTouch tan salon software that their beauty salon uses (that’s meant to be a joke). They’re meant to keep the house clean, iron and starch shirts, etc. Men are meant to pound their chests, say whatever comes to mind, make cruel jokes, and buy some sort of vehicle every 6 months.
Based on all that……………there is no unrealistic expectations in my mind that we’re ever meant to see eye to eye. I can get around all that stuff, and ignore his opinions for the most part. What I find myself having a problem with……….is his casual negativity. I honestly think he find pleasure in talking trash, and bringing down others around him, when things aren’t 100% with himself. Anyone know someone like that?? When he’s in good spirits…he’s all niceness, and compliments. When he’s stressing for whatever reason…..he seems to be constantly deflecting all of it off him, and onto those around him. Or, is that just my perception? Guess it doesn’t matter. He’s not going to change. So, all in all it’s a TEST for me to adapt & overcome!!! Isn’t that why Blue Meanies, Butterfly Stompers, and Dream Busters exists for us?? To help us overcome issues we have….big or small.
Is the reason I still have someone in my life telling me, “You have a really pretty face. It’s a shame you can’t lose 50 pounds, because you’d be a knock out”. Do I have hear this bcuz I still have some low, self-esteem issues? Bcuz isn’t the process in my head going through all the reasons why that perspective is not healthy, helpful, or important? Aren’t those people merely messengers? Projecting our own thoughts, or beliefs back on us…so we can work them out in our heads, and hearts? I think so.
When someone comes along and bothers to tell you you’re not doing a good enough job of things….I think it only upsets us if we believe it. The more we believe it….the more it upsets us. In that case…I don’t think it has anything to do with how it’s delivered or by who. It’s how it effects us, and WHY it effects us! I believe that to be a super important KEY to freeing ourselves up from crap…..becoming IMMUNE to it, is really what the process is. IMMUNITY. And, not through the type of RESISTANCE we usually grasp for right away. That ‘blocking’ sort of tactic….where we put up a hand, or slam a door, etc. Shut it out. That’s not healthy resistance, it’s fear-based. Nope….instead it’s taking something in, exposing ourselves to it, testing it against our inner-truth of self, and then releasing it simply as useless to us. That process can get easier and easier the more immune we become, where it happens is micro-seconds. Something comes into our space, it’s processed, and excreted as garbage. OR………..it rattles around inside us until we overcome it, or it destroys us.
I guess wit that understanding…………my problem is with me! Not really…….”what sort of bullshit is this person dishing out”, but……..what sort of bullshit am I allowing to effect me? And from an even more spiritual perspective……say, “I thank and respect this individual for being available to mirror and deliver my internal disease back at me, so that I can address it, and overcome it, and be a healthier person for it!” And, “I honor me, for being strong, and respectful of myself, where I don’t move through life in resistance and ignorance, afraid of what surrounds me…..but head on, with a healthy, open, joyful heart, that understands that my “natural” state of being is immune from all disease and negativity”!!!
Something like that. 😛