Therapy Thursday: Touch Once…

Straying from the regular ‘inspirational’ blather I save for Thursdays, and since it’s really Friday :/

Thought I’d share something more along the lines of efficiency. “Touch Once”, is something I learned in out-patient therapy…once upon a time, after my nervous breakdown. The one that landed me in the hospital, not knowing my ass from a hole in the ground! Anyone that’s had a meltdown can relate. Anyone that hasn’t (yet)…I won’t waste your time trying to explain. To make a long story short…I found it difficult to wrap my head around the lessons in extreme basics that were offered as a solution to my mind shattering into a million pieces. They were basically as follows.

  1. Eat 3 healthy meals a day
  2. Go to bed early and get plenty of rest
  3. Bathe daily
  4. Put on clean pajamas before going to bed. Put on clean clothes in the morning
  5. Walk a half an hour a day. Swing arms!
  6. And…Touch Once

You’d think those things are common ritual, but that’s how out of it people can be when they find themselves on the other end of a meltdown. That they have to be told to bathe! Despite it all seeming ridiculous, it was nice to know that that’s all that was expected of me. Since, the meltdown stemmed from what I felt was a severe burden of expectations. Anyway….

Touch Once. Very simple, basic ritual. The idea being…to not pass anything by, when you look at it out of the corner of your eye and think, “huh, I need to get that”…get too that, pick that up, etc. It’s really mindless. Try it. It’s something you just have to work to be aware of, but….examine how many times a day you pass by things, and in a unconscious way…ignore them! I do it a lot. The problem is, somewhere deep in my head, I’m keeping track. And it for sure piles up in my psyche. It’s either an empty glass that I need to wash out, or something to put back in the fridge. Picking up a piece of clothing and putting it in the hamper. That sorta thing. A lot of tiny things that gain weight quickly.

I guess the same idea…is to never walk around “empty handed”! I think my mom was big on that, but……I never got it. 😛 “Don’t walk in the kitchen empty handed”, she’d say. Efficiency is really a great thing, once we’re in the habit of it. Getting there isn’t that easy, but it’s a nice thing to pride ones self on, once there. It just makes life a lot easier. Of course, it’s always nice when everyone else is participating as well! That’s why it’s good to become consistent with it, and have it (at least) rub off on your kids! Teach them that small lesson, if possible. That it will behoove them in the long run, as adults. That’s probably ridiculous to say….kids have tons of better stuff to do with their time! 🙂

And, who am I to talk, since I really haven’t gotten the hang of it myself.

All I know is that every few days I look around and think…..”My God, how’s this place get such a wreck”!?!? Everything a disaster-zone…”didn’t I just clean all that up”. And, for me it’s not even kids…bcuz my baby is only 5 months. He doesn’t make messes yet. It’s the adults in the house!

Summing it up

As moms…it’s full-time. The list never ends. As humans in general that’s the case, but it just gets better as “moms”. More pertinent. 😉 We all know that we’re fighting a losing battle when we seek to have others get-on-board. Our moms didn’t accomplish that. We won’t, etc. We can feel like we’re in it alone, with no one to help us out. That can make for a sour perspective on life in general. We all work to not fall into that trap. As moms…we’re natural at “working it”. All! In that sense, Touch Once isn’t really a solution…just a little mantra. Just, when we jump into thinking that it would be a hell of a lot easier if everyone else ‘helped out’. We should relax a bit, and check to make sure that we aren’t defeating ourselves first. ‘Cuz I think sometimes, it’s more that we’re jealous that everyone else can just slack off, and really ignore it without it bothering them. All the little stuff. We can’t. When we just accept that, and focus on little things we ourselves can do to keep on top of our own neurosis…..LOL…..we’ll be the better for it. Seems like a sound place to start anyway.

3 thoughts on “Therapy Thursday: Touch Once…

  1. Your 6 rules above are right on the money, whether you’re a new mom or whatever your situation may be. All of us need time sometimes and it’s so easy to forget and concentrate on your own self. Good post! Following along now and found you thru New Friend Fridays! 🙂 Pam @ Sallygoodin

  2. Not my 6 rules, but thank you. Some North American standard on mental health, probably 😉 Probably spent billions in research on it. ha.

    But ya…s.eriously. It’s hard to place ourselves in that sphere of easy-goingness, and not become the task masters of it all. I think when we feel like we’re falling behind on stuff, slipping up, etc. We get quietly freaked about it inside somewhere, and it comes out in a weird way that’s not very productive. Even though we mean well.

    It’s like go, go, go…collapse. Go, go, go…collapse. Not too healthy (on a mental front). Burning our candles at all ends. It’s not so important, all the cleaning up stuff. I’m total for walking away from it, and letting it slide for more meaningful moments. I kinda made it sound in my post like it was about keeping up on chores. I’m glad you pointed out “self” concentration, or focus.

    It’s more that we go through whole complete days, weeks…without stopping to think about ourselves. Really consider ourselves. Not always “what SHOULD i be doing”? but….how do i feel? what’s going on? where am I at? It’s a crazy juggling act! We need to remember that we can step back (out of the picture completely) and take a breather. Take off all the hats (mom, wife, best friend, employee, boss, cook, maid, blogger, whatever) and just be ourselves.

    nice thought anyway. 😛
    Thanks for the follow! Will return the love. 🙂

  3. 😛
    More thoughts….

    Just wanted to say that it’s not that we always have to have our hands full…in the process of ‘doing something’. It’s more that we give ourselves permission to let things go. Consciously. That we aren’t always working to push the tedious, tiresome things out of our minds, but that we ALLOW ourselves free time, consciously! For some reason that (really) matters. To say, “Yes, I have all this stuff to do, but I’m putting it aside for a while and taking some time for me (or me & baby, me & kids, me & ______ ).

    Every time that voice starts up in your head (with the critical pointing finger)….just say…”Yes I’m AWARE, and right now I’m taking some time for me”!!!

    I think what happens is…..
    When we step away from everything for our own moments, things appear to fall apart. So, we unconsciously equate “me time” with things messing up. Me-time = bad. Nothing is going to fall apart while you’re being yourself. If nothing else…things will go smoother. If stuff is falling apart or unraveling the moment you step away…then there’s something a miss with the system in place. Not the players. There’s too much going on, or there’s too much “stuff” to keep on top of, too many events, too many expectations, too many agendas, etc.

    In that case it’s probably a really good time to step away, and renegotiate things. Maybe a pow-wow is in order? Maybe it’s not just you that’s feeling overburdened. Maybe it’s time to down-size, do a little collaborative spring cleaning, re-schedule things, etc.

    Ahhh……….morning blather. 😕

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